I recently completed my fifth book, The Coach That’s Always There. In it, I explore how we can all take on the role of being an inspirational, deeply kind coach to ourselves, whenever we needed it. After all, we know more about ourselves, our dreams, and tricksy habits than anyone else ever could and so who better to provide insightful guidance for ourselves in any moment?
Below is an extract of this book, taken from Chapter 4, but first let’s start with a brief summary of what we’ve already covered…
Some important things to remember:
- Awareness – we need to be mindful of the state that we are in.
- Change – we need to notice if we are in the wrong state and use all the tools in the book to change our state. I promise it will make life so much easier and better for you and everybody else concerned.
- Training – we need to remember the power of Neuroplasticity – that the more we access a state, the easier it becomes to get into it. This is why if we’ve been angry all day, it’s so much easier to become irritated by the smallest thing later on in the evening.
- Words – we need to remember that our words trigger states, and so use them wisely, with ourselves and others, especially when we’re talking about what we want.
- Connection – when thinking about using these ideas with others, pause and make sure you’re always keeping that sense of connection and sensitivity towards their needs.
This may seem like a simple set of ideas, but they are life-changing.
With these essential components of Inner Wisdom on board, we’re ready to move onto the exciting world of Gateway States.
In my clinical work, I often find people need to switch into one of the following groups of states to move life forward:
- Calmness, relaxation or inner peace
- Confidence, a sense of competence or thinking rationally
- Motivation, creativity or inspiration
- A sense of humour, the ability to get perspective or to gain some distance
If someone is, for example, angry or stressed they probably need to get in touch with the states listed in A. If they are doubting themselves or nervous before a presentation or interview, they probably also need those from B. The states in C are great to resolve procrastination around a new project or when running out of steam in a current adventure and those in D are valuable in so many places, great for seeing things differently, not taking things so seriously, regrouping and moving forwards. There are other states that people can need, but these four groups are very often the missing ingredients to make change. They’re awesome… but these are not the Gateway States; Gateway States take change to a new level.
I started noticing Gateway States when working with people who had experienced something almost magical within the process of change. Accessing these Gateway States seemed to transform what happened next. They rewrote the book on how easy change was and how they felt about themselves and their future, and often, it redrew their understanding of their world. It was almost as though these states were catalysts for change, like rocket fuel or a wormhole that provided a passage to transport them from one phase of their life to another, almost instantly. Let’s list these Gateway States, these agents of transformational change, as a starting point. The rest of the book will deepen your understanding of what is meant by each Gateway State in this list, and how to use it in a range of powerful Inner Wisdom Techniques. The Gateways States are:
2. Inner coach
3. Kindness and Compassion
This list is a useful start, but you might be asking, ‘What are they and how do you use them?’ In the book, we dive further into each one, learn how to get in touch with them, explore how they can change your worldview and discover the Inner Wisdom Techniques that use them to create powerful change. If that sounds interesting then you can get the book here, as a paperback or on Kindle: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0C46H3JHQ
I hope that you enjoyed this brief glimpse into Inner Wisdom. I will be sharing some more insights over the coming months so look out for future posts!