Solutions to breaking codependency patterns
One of the key ways to overcome codependency is to first and foremost, build a loving and relaxing relationship with yourself. You can do this in a number of ways.
- Start to take more time to relax throughout your day. I often advise my clients to pepper their day with Relaxation. How do you do this? Take 5 minutes throughout your day to concentrate on breathing deeply and relaxing your muscles, they take yourself back to a relaxing time and get in touch with the details of that moment and give yourself permission to enjoy reconnecting with relaxation now.
- Turning the focus back to yourself. As we know focusing on others is what someone with codependency does really well. Turning that focus from the other person back to you doesn’t make you selfish instead it shows respect for that other person’s autonomy and boundaries. You can do this in a practical way by stopping yourself obsessively watching the other person or worrying or obsessively thinking about them. Instead imagine them surrounded by healing light or connected to their higher self. They have their own purpose and life to lead and seeing them almost in the hands of God or the Universe can help you to release that need for control. Remember the saying ‘live and let live’
- Remember you are not responsible for another person’s behaviour. This is where active language is great. If you’ve already taken the LP you’ll know what I mean by active language. If not then you can learn more about this in my book, ‘Du – Unlock Your Full Potential With A Word.’
- Start practicing self-acceptance. Believe that you are perfectly imperfect. Keep a journal and write positive things about yourself in it each day. Also start to reach out to people when you need help. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you can do absolutely everything yourself – we all need help from time to time.
- Focus on a life you love, what are your needs and wants? Rather than obsessing about others expectations of you.
- Get in touch with your feelings begin to get to know yourself again, again a journal can be really helpful for this. It’s important as you do this not to judge yourself but to be kind and compassionate.
I hope that you find these tips useful.
For emotions such as low self-esteem, fear, guilt, depression, and also patterns such as obsessive compulsions and addictions, I would highly recommend you see a professional for support as you work through these issues. The Lightning Process is a brilliant tool to help you resolve these patterns and you may want to speak to your health professional for guidance.