If you tend to be someone that sees a ‘glass as half empty’ as the old saying goes, learning to focus on the positives is a skill that can you can develop and will help you to transform your levels of happiness. It will demand discipline and commitment to look for a better reality; one where you can accept the challenges that present themselves and learn from them; one where you learn to focus on what you do want rather than constantly think about everything that you don’t want.
In order to make sense of the world, we continually distort reality. If we didn’t we would be completely overwhelmed by the amount of information hurling towards us at any one time. This is a skill that we learn in order to keep things simple for us and we do this by filtering for certain information that is important, this then becomes our focus and we ignore the rest. For example, you want to buy a new car and you have chosen to get a Mini – you suddenly notice how many Minis are on the road because your filters have been set to hone in on them. It doesn’t mean there are any more out there, or there are less of the other cars about, you are just spotting the Minis.
This filtering works just the same within yourself. Think about times when you are worrying about something and are feeling anxious, your focus is completely on the feelings you are experiencing and you are completely unaware of how the rest of your body feels. If you were to then get a phone call from a great friend who has amazing news, what would happen to the feelings of anxiety? When would they come back? Again, this is because your focus had changed for the duration of the phone call.
We know that what you focus on, is what you find and that this can be either within yourself or within your environment. This focus will then generate how you feel and act and that can be either in a great way that’s life enhancing or in a bad way that is filled with challenges and upset. By recognising you have this choice, you will understand why it is important to focus on the positives in order to increase your levels of happiness.
There is a great quote by Herbert Samuels, “The world is like a mirror; frown at it, and it frowns at you. Smile and it smiles, too” that really sums this up beautifully.
What do you want?
In order to enhance the quality of our lives we need to make a choice about where to focus our energy. Are you focussing on what you actually want? Remembering your mind is going to find what you focus on and it doesn’t discriminate as to whether it is a help or a hindrance, it’s up to you to direct your thoughts into positive ones.
Focussing on what you want and the positives in your world starts to do magical things. Your thoughts change and this affects you actions, the way you interact with the people around you and these shifts start to transform your levels of happiness.
Make sure you use positive language to describe what you want so that your brain is given absolute direction. For example: ‘I want to be slim and healthy’ and not ‘I don’t want to be fat’ – notice the difference?
Have you ever experienced the things that you don’t want just keep showing up in your life? This is because you are unintentionally and unconsciously putting your energy and focus towards them. Unfortunately, when we focus on what we don’t want, that’s what we get.
The more we think about not having enough money, always finding the wrong partner, always feeling stressed or ill, the more energy we are using to unconsciously fuel these results. The key is not to make the things you don’t want a priority in your life – they will start to consume your reality.
How can you start to make a difference today?
Start by thinking about what you really appreciate in your life, what you’re happy with, what you’re proud of, what gives you that warm fuzzy feeling inside. A great way to do this is by keeping a journal of the things that you do, the things that inspire you, the things that you have enjoyed, the things you appreciate, the things that you are looking forwards to.
If writing a journal is not for you, you could create a notice board or scrap book of great photos, pictures, ticket stubs etc. of moments and places that you’ve really enjoyed.
The last thing we’d suggest is really start living in the present moment. Too often we spend far too long outside of the present, thinking about what might happen, what if this happens or thinking and worrying about what has gone on in the past and not really engaging with what’s going on here and now. You can read our article ‘Life is Here and Now’: http://lightningprocess.co.uk/life-is-here-and-now/ for more tips on staying present.
If you would like to find out more about how the Lightning Process could help you, please contact me and I’ll be happy to arrange a chat and answer your questions.