Phil Parker's London Team

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Make Friends with Yourself

CHow much of the time are you nice to yourself?

It always amazes me when I ask clients this question, how incredibly low their answers are. Often they are nice to themselves only a tiny percent of the time, or even ‘never!’.

Would you speak to someone else in the way you speak to yourself?  Would you be happy if someone spoke to you in this way?

Absolutely not!  If this behaviour isn’t acceptable to, or from another human, it isn’t acceptable to yourself.

Life has enough challenges, without you being in a constant fight with yourself.  Imagine how much resistance you are creating internally. This will zap your peace, energy and happiness.

By accepting your perfectly imperfect self, you can start to make friends with yourself.  This will open you up to the potential, to flow through life, as opposed to having to battle through it.  It will also help you to locate some inner peace and security, where you can move through challenges, and grow beyond them.

Get comfortable with being okay with yourself.  Yes, you may notice your negative traits still, but acceptance will also open you up to the things that are positive.  Those little things that you may not have even noticed, will start to stand out and will multiply.

How to start making friends with yourself:

What can you appreciate about yourself?

Consider the things that are good about being you.  The things that you can respect and accept are true, no matter how big or small they are.  Now, write them down so you remember them.

Take a deep, calm breath, imagine looking yourself in the eye (or use a mirror if it helps) and repeat this list to yourself like a little personal mantra or affirmation.  Do this regularly to reinforce your blossoming relationship with yourself.  Make sure you add items your list, as you recognise new, great things about yourself.

Become aware of your negative self-talk.

Listen to what you are saying and decide, is it useful?  It can help to write these statements down, as seeing them in writing will give you a reality check, and lead you to take a different view on exactly what you are saying to yourself.

A negative thought, is just a thought.

Recognise it for exactly what it is – just a thought!  It isn’t something that actually exists, it is just something that you are thinking about.  Cut yourself some slack, and let the negative thought go.

Learn from any mistakes.

Instead of going over, and over what has happened, and immersing yourself in the bad feelings associated with it.  Use any mistake as an opportunity to learn, reflect on what the lesson is, and move on.

Ultimately, you are human, and being human, you are perfectly imperfect just the way you are.  You can only do your best, so make sure that includes becoming your own best friend.  Life will become so much lighter when you start to accept yourself. This will enable you to develop stronger relationships with everyone around you too.

“You do not fail in life, you only produce results, and you have the right to learn and grow from any results that you produce.”  Wayne Dwyer