One thing that is guaranteed in life is change. Seasons come and go, we all get older and things change and brings with it challenges of all different dimensions.
When faced with change do you:
Look forward to it and welcome it?
This is a great way to face change and the most useful way in order to move forward with your life as there is no avoiding it, it will come in some form or other. This will allow you to thrive on change and embrace it.
Try to cope with it?
This may seem useful but it really isn’t as ultimately you will have limited choices, feel trapped and miss out on opportunities.
This will just fuel your stress levels and potentially leave you angry, upset and frustrated.
If you are someone who dreads change, try thinking of change as a process, there will be different stages and they can take time but that’s ok.
There is a great quote by Sun Tzo: “Water shapes its course according to the nature of the ground over which it flows”.
I love the idea of going with the flow or being like water. If you put a rock in a river, the water will flow around it, if you boil water it will turn to steam and then form water droplets as it cools. If you freeze it, it will return to water as it starts to warm up – water has an amazing ability to just return to its flow.
So what to do when you are faced with change:
Recognise that you are in a period of change
By noticing change rather than denying it, you will be able to start to respond in a useful way.
Face your fears
The fears you have about the change and understand what it is you are frightened of. This can be challenging especially if the change is out of your control but you need to move past the upset and the anger and the “why me” in order to move on.
Look at your choices
In every situation you will have choices, even if it doesn’t always feel like it – decide what changes you are prepared to accept. You always have the choice over how you want to respond to a situation or how you want to feel about it so take back your power of choice.
Look for the positives
Think about the positive things and opportunities that will come from the change that you are experiencing. You could use these to create goals for yourself so you can flow through the change and move forward.
This is the key that will allow you to be flexible and respond to the change in a useful and considered way. If you find yourself moving away from a calm place, a great, quick technique is using seven eleven breathing: breathe in for a count of seven and out for a count of eleven. Do this a few times and you will find yourself returning to calm – it is incredibly effective.
Talk it through
Share your thoughts and fears with a trusted friend or relative that will give you objective feedback. This will give you a different perspective on the change you are going through and just articulating your feelings can do wonders to help you figure things out yourself.
If you struggle with change, contact us to find out how we can help you.