Happiness is something we all strive to feel.  Unfortunately, we can get stuck in behaviours that sabotage our ability to be happy.  Awareness is the first step to changing them so consider any you need to address to claim back your happy self.


You can’t change anyone else, just your response to them.  Rather than looking to apportion blame to someone (or something), look at what you can learn from the situation.  Make a choice to take responsibility for what you can influence and how you respond.

Clinging to what is known

Change can be scary and there is comfort in the familiar.  If you’re feeling insecure, work getting calm and letting go.  Allow yourself to take a risk and try something new, you may be pleasantly surprised.


Trying to control others or situations doesn’t help you feel good about yourself.  Make peace with anything outside of your control and make space for others to make their own choices.

Criticizing and judging

When we get critical of others, it tends to be a reflection of how we are feeling about ourselves.  We are all unique in our own ways and life would be very boring if we were all the same.  Being different doesn’t make someone better or worse than you so learn to appreciate the differences instead of focusing on them.

Feeling ungrateful

Recognise what you do have and start a gratitude practice, every morning and/or night list the things that you are grateful for, you will soon start to see how many things you have, to be grateful for.


Feeling the need to impress those around you whether it is with your achievements or material things won’t result in lasting happiness or fulfilling relationships.

Inner critic

Notice what you are saying to yourself and how it makes you feel.  If you’re not being kind, see the chatter for what they are, just thoughts.  Recognise if they are useful to you and make the decision to let them go by consciously changing them to positive supportive self-talk instead.


Rather than forcing your opinion on others, learn to listen and share your knowledge in a conversation.


If you find yourself caught up whining about something or someone, it isn’t moving you forward.  Decide what you want and take back your power by asking for it.

Happiness is an inside job and only you can make yourself happy.  If you need help tapping into your happiness, use the Lightning Process (or your favourite approach) to address it, life is too short to spend time feeling unhappy.  If you need help applying the Lightning Process, contact me for support.

 “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” Albus Dumbledore